My grandpa was known for taking off across the Wyoming prairie with a wild colt, and coming back at sunset with the best saddle horse you’d ever seen. He was a tried and true horseman, and passed that horse sense to both me and my dad (even if dad doesn’t want to admit it). Add in the gifted horsewoman I had for a mother, and the handful of gifted horsemen and women that surrounded me during my childhood and it’s no surprise that horses play a huge part in my connection with The Creator.
I think about The Creator often when I’m with the horses, be it wild horses in the badlands or my own horses on a ride. I’m a gifted horse woman, I know that. I also know that there is so much about horsemanship I am yet to learn, and I am excited to be diving back into this aspect of my life. Over the last few years I have developed a severe anxiety disorder from breaking my back on a colt in 2014. Over the last six months I have been brutally reminded of this unhealed aspect of myself after I had an accident where I damaged my sciatic nerve. Slowly but surely I’ve been building my confidence and spirit back, and it feels so amazing.
Sometimes walking the Red Road isn’t about praying the most, but rather fully healing. Healing by forgiving ourselves and every step we make forward walking a life of honor, respect and dignity. This requires dedication, and discipline. Discipline to keep walking down that sacred path and to continue to behave in honorable ways when those around us aren’t living by honor.
I’ve been healing my heritage, which is very damaged and wounded indeed. Filled with rape, hate, war, broken spirits and damaged hearts; but what comes from healing these terrible pains brings such abundance and limitless potential that this act of healing is the true spiritual awakening. For it is during this time where we allow ourselves the grace to forgive ourselves for our behaviors when we weren’t well, and allow those energies to die, and bringing to life an honorable, sacred, version of ourselves.