North Dakota Healer

Giving More Than We Take

This life is full of choices, challenges, and opportunities. We are blessed with an abundant world that surrounds us and guides us on every venture we participate in. This world is filled with this abundance and is just there for the taking. But if every person takes from this abundant world- what happens?

If everyone takes without giving back, what are we left with?

This is a question that has been on my mind for years, if not since my childhood. We just automatically assume that our resources won’t ever become depleted. We don’t consider that in order for us to take, we must first give. Because one without the other is not a cycle, it is not the natural flow from this life. Instead it is a consumption. This consumption fueled by our own egos- by our own obsessions with power, security, and safety.

We take from the land by growing our crops, drilling our oil, and building our cities. We take from the air by breathing, manufacturing, and polluting our environment. We take from our water by pollution, dams, canals, and irrigation systems. We take from everything, but we rarely give back in a healthy way. Instead we create more pain, more suffering, more damage…

We bring our garbage and waste, expecting Mother Earth to clean up after us. Littering the ditches, prairies, and forests with trash. We give hate, spite, and anger lashing out at those who are kind to us, lashing out at those who are different than us, because “They might take from me!” Might take WHAT exactly?

Giving And Taking

In the last year I’ve been taken advantage of by numerous people, oddly enough all spiritual in nature. I’ve been lied to, painted as a fool, and talked about behind my back (like I can’t see your lies and ill nature). I’ve been manipulated and used to the point where I was hurting so much I couldn’t bare to look at these people any more. Yet they are completely ignorant to the pain they caused or the damage they are doing.

When we begin these spiritual journeys, we don’t get to choose where our journey takes us. We don’t get to chose to be a shaman, a healer, or a leader. We just either are, or we aren’t. Now we can teach ourselves healer traits, leadership traits, or shamanic healing practices- but we can’t force ourselves to BE. I didn’t choose this path, it chose me. I didn’t wake up one morning and go “I’d like to make a business out of this.” It just happened. I know that in order to heal, people need to be able to find me. It’s literally that simple.

That is why I work as hard as I do to give back. To give to the community that provides for me and helps me in this journey. But often times, I don’t see that unconditional love throughout society.

Humans by nature tend to be selfish and consumed by scarcity and need. Many of us lack security in who we are, so when we are around someone who knows who they are (especially if that is someone who is new in their journey) it can be threatening and hurtful. We tend to take wounds to our ego personal and become vindictive and hurtful in our actions in relation to those feelings. But by trying to take power away from someone else- by trying to take pride, knowledge, or worth from someone else, we are showing the world our shadows. We are showing how petty, small, and unawakened we truly are.

Giving More Than We Take

It’s important that we give more than we take in this world. This doesn’t mean donating to charities, spending our entire lives volunteering at soup kitchens or food banks. Giving in this world is giving love. Is sharing love with our fellow humans, by being the light in the world. By sharing kindness and grace at all times. It doesn’t take an act of Congress to give into our worlds, sometimes it can be a simple as reaching out to a stranger. But the intent behind it is more important than anything else.

Because if your intent is to gather more followers, book more clients or gain popularity for political reasons, you are not giving into this world. You are taking.

Giving must be done selflessly. We have to give with no benefit for ourselves, give without expectation of reward, recognition, or reimbursement. We have to give for the sake of giving. We have to love for the sake of loving.

I don’t write these blog posts to receive award or recognition. I don’t give in expectation that you book a healing with me or pay me to read you. I give to help you heal. I give so you can begin or continue down your own spiritual journey so we can profoundly change the world. I give so we can begin to love all cultures, ethnicities, and religions. I give so we can heal past traumas, heal ancestral traumas, and heal ourselves. I take by being able to support my family, I take by creating a legacy for my future children and future families. I take by learning and growing along with you. Therefore, I am provided for.

I’ve been noticing so many businesses “taking” from their clients. Taking by guilting people to “buy buy buy” while providing nothing extra to give back into the world right now. Nothing to GIVE to help people heal, grow, or even see a positive outlook. All this shame, guilt, and pressure to consume… But no empathy for those who have lost their jobs. No empathy for the person we shit on to get where we are today… We are all one. I am not more important than any other person in this world. I am not superior, “more of a shaman” or elite by any means.

But as a society, many of us can’t see past that. We are so focused on selfish advancement and progression that we miss the entire purpose of life, to give more than we take.

Victoria Dellapaolera
Victoria Dellapaolera

Victoria is a Christian minister practicing spiritual healing and development in Williston, North Dakota. Victoria has worked with horses her entire life, and has learned many of her healing techniques from the horses.

She graduated from West Virginia University in 2020 Magna Cum Laude with a bachelors degree in Human Services and Sports and Exercise Psychology; gaining her associates degree in Farm and Ranch Management and Equitation from Dawson Community College in Glendive, Montana in 2012.

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