Going through life is never easy. We will question ourselves, doubt our choices and our actions and often ponder who we are and why we are who we are. But sometimes life is harder than it needs to be, and you have to have the grit to stand against the forces pushing you in a direction and feel confident in who you are, and what you stand for.
Recently I was with some distant friends, who apparently don't follow me very closely on social media (I'm assuming either that, or they really don't listen and have no idea what a Shaman is). We were visiting, and the topic of spirituality comes up.
Now I know what you are all thinking "Oh jeeze, where is this going to go"- and that is exactly what I thought too. At first I was like.. Well, here comes the good old Bible lecture- I'm going to get told I'm going to hell again and I need to find Jesus.. But then the conversation really took a turn for the loonie bin.
You see, I am not a people person. I am very quiet, reserved and "feral cat" like. Once I get to know you and warm up to you, I can be the loudest person in the room, but until then I keep to myself until I decide to make a conversation. I will rarely if ever ask for help at a store, or help for anything for that manner. I don't share my feelings, thoughts or opinions often, because that is just not how I am- blame it on my Capricorn Ascending.
I am quiet, I take in everything around me and if I am conversing, I either trust you or I genuinely have something to say. But with this "feral cat" personality, it kind of means I am not a people person. When I warm up to you I am good, but sometimes it takes a while to warm up to me. I know I can't be the only one who feels this way.. Mostly because a lot of my friends are feral cats as well.
So while I am visiting with this distant friend they tell me "I am too wound up, and I need to learn to find balance"- guy's, I almost peed my pants… I was laughing so hard in side, and when I heard my husband next to me snort it took everything to hold it together.
And of course, his snort only made this friend continue on his crusade even harder- and tell me "No I'm serious! You are holding all this tension inside you and you are so stressed around me, you need to learn how to let it go and trust the universe."
At this point my husbands eyes roll back into his head and I'm trying my hardest not to die of laughter. He has no idea how much I place my trust in the universe- queue the spell jars, medicine wheels, meditations and affirmations here...
After spending the last week with my husbands large family- I was drained and ready to recharge and get some quality alone time, and my energy was depleted beyond belief. To say I was stressed and irritated was an understatement, but I had to just laugh at the comment of "You need to find balance and spirituality"
And of course, he's right in a way. I should had grounded myself better, found and outlet for the stress and let it go. But, in the same breath, you can't just discard your worries without a care. Because yes, the universe will provide for you, but only if you put in the work as well!
I let my friend know that I am just really overwhelmed by all of these people around me, and that I am just not too much of a people person- in fact I referenced the feral cat analogy and we went about our ways. Did he listen to me, probably not… Do I care? No.
But after a few hours, I began to doubt myself. Am I really out of balance? Am I too snappy? Am I not being kind and polite when I think I am? After some conversation with my husband and some deep thought, we both agreed it was a simple comment to be disregarded (The irony being that he said I need to "Let stuff go" and I have to let go of his comment.. Funny huh)
But the more I got to thinking about a blog post for this week, the more I realized that this was what I needed to write about.
Because not everyone is going to have someone who was there, who you can trust to ask "Do I need to change?". So how do you know if you really do need a reality check, or if a comment is just an opinion that needs to be disregarded.
It's hard to know when the universe is giving you a message, especially when someone goes about it as rudely as this person did. But the universe is pretty good about giving you messages that feel right in your gut when you hear them. The key is being confident in who you are, and the balance that you have received.
This isn't easy, it's not ever going to be easy. You are going to be faced with challenges and need to become your own private code talker- deciding what messages are pertinent and what messages are just an opinion.
Now if this person talked to me daily, knew me more than what I allowed them to see or even had gone about this differently, then I would had looked at this in a totally different light. But knowing that they don't even know me, don't take the time to get to know me and obviously don't understand my connection with spirit, then I am going to disregard their opinion regarding my spirituality and my balance.
Sometimes you just have to "bye Felicia" someone…